Category Archives: Swany’s Whey

Reservations

Hey you! Your pants are on fire!

Pay no tension to the curses of a crotchety old geezer.

Crochety as the lack of ball room, yet a faithful geezer.

We reserve the right, though we lead with our left, to mock, malign, mortify, minimize, mess with, and misundersestimate:

  • folks from the funny farm
  • nut cases
  • she who for her heirs left a lot to be desired
  • he who left his creditors a pretty penny
  • the hardly boys when they met the milky maidens

It is but right, however, to mention in the first place the plants whose discoverers can be found, with their properties classified according to the kinds of disease for which they are a remedy. To reflect indeed on this makes one pity the lot of man.

Men of brains and brawns of women

Men of brains! Let us not be led astray by our low-hanging grapes.

Women of fruit, we can’t say by how much.

When, as so-and-so is said to have said, the abomination stands in the holy place, and all the decimation points of consumer capitalism no longer fit the human concussion, then keep calm and carrion.

When the psychopath of the cycle path sets his sights on the city on the hill, then shoulder the salt, and pass the pepper.

And dos be donny, my furry friend, just this once and for all.

So an Embryo being freed

So an Embryo, being freed from that vegetable life which it enjoyed in the mother’s womb, obtains another more perfect life, by its birth and coming into the light of the world.

They wasn’t sure what to make of themselves. They’d been inflated with self esteem but no overflow valve.

Any idiot could see they were living in a fantasy world of their own makings.

But they had seminal endearing properties. Two bits on the barrelhead. Time for cheese and crackers.

Last smoke


Jean d’Arc of the covenant. It had the hallmark of the perfect crime, like the haymarket rackets and the october revolution; beauty is in the eye of the beast. The giant behemoth is the apple of the bride’s eye though he was fond of talking to himself under a bushel of leavings from the hayday of our culture.

In the days that are forgotten.

The Undertaking

I have done one braver thing
Than all the Worthies did;
And yet a braver thence doth spring,
Which is, to keep that hid.

It were but madness now to impart
The skill of specular stone,
When he, which can have learn’d the art
To cut it, can find none.

So, if I now should utter this,
Others—because no more
Such stuff to work upon, there is—
Would love but as before.

But he who loveliness within
Hath found, all outward loathes,
For he who colour loves, and skin,
Loves but their oldest clothes.

If, as I have, you also do
Virtue in woman see, 1
And dare love that, and say so too,
And forget the He and She;

And if this love, though placèd so,
From profane men you hide,
Which will no faith on this bestow,
Or, if they do, deride;

Then you have done a braver thing
Than all the Worthies did;
And a braver thence will spring,
Which is, to keep that hid.

Mountain Bride

The story of a luscious hill girl who started a feud when she gave her heart to a city man.  Rhonda Fleming and Joseph Cotton also star in other stories by Peggy Gaddis, available from Cameo Books in a plain brown wrapper.

Whittled down

I was whittled down to one four-character domain, following all the princes of history.

Here was the woman who drove them mad as hatters while tightening the band. She had ten galleons of fortitude and a honeycomb smile worth its wait in sixpacks.