Category Archives: Briefings

Stay in a ball

Stay in a ball for ten seconds. Both the heat and the blast wave will pass over you in that time. Then, if you can, stand up. You will be among the survivors — provide you can move fast enough to avoid falling rubble and fire. If the explosion catches you one step from a tree-trunk or doorway, you can take that step and crouch with your back to the wall. Ib this position debris and fallen glass will fall beond you

Snidely and the forty whiplashes

Woman in skimpy dress rescued by Phlash Gordon.

Woman in skimpy dress rescued by Phlash Gordon.

Gravity refused to be quantized, thereby creating 4-dimensional space. It’s in its nature.

So mused the monkey who modeled the collapse of a pair of neutron stars after measuring their gravitational waves, oscillating less than the diameter of a proton. It’s all in the book.

From the collapse comes gold. And the other heavy elements. We praise the gods for heavy elements, for without the heavy elements, we wouldn’t have rocks. The parts warehouse would be barren as bottom’s baby, as old Hubbard is said to have reported to the dean of ineptitudes.

I’m trying to kick the habit, whispered the cardinal to the priest. Well within earshot of Mother Superior.

Head cheese

Head cheese or brawn is a cold cut that originated in Europe. A version pickled with vinegar is known as souse. Head cheese is not a cheese but a terrine or meat jelly made with flesh from the head of a calf or pig (sometimes a sheep or cow), and often set in aspic. The parts of the head used varies, but the brain, eyes, and ears are usually removed. The tongue, and sometimes even the feet and heart, may be included.

Mountain Bride

The story of a luscious hill girl who started a feud when she gave her heart to a city man.  Rhonda Fleming and Joseph Cotton also star in other stories by Peggy Gaddis, available from Cameo Books in a plain brown wrapper.

For fevers


Fevers are kept away by the flesh of deer, as I have said, those indeed which return at fixed intervals by the salted right eye of a wolf worn as an amulet, if we are to believe the Magi. There is a kind of fever called “amphemerinos.” It is said that he is freed from this who drinks three drops of blood from an ass’s ear in two heminae of water. For quartans the Magi prescribe the excrement of a cat with the claw of a horned owl worn as an amulet, and to prevent a relapse the amulet should not be removed before the seventh periodic return. Who pray could have made this discovery? What sort of combination is this? Why was an owl’s claw chosen rather than anything else? Some more moderate people have prescribed the salted liver of a cat killed when the moon is on the wane, to be taken in wine before the access of a quartan. The Magi also apply to the toes and fingers ox or cow dung reduced to ash and sprinkled with children’s urine. They use the heart of a hare as an amulet, and give hare’s rennet before each access. There is also given with honey fresh goat’s cheese with the whey carefully pressed out. A remedy for melancholia is calf’s dung boiled down in wine. The right eye of a frog hung round the neck in a piece of undyed cloth cures ophthalmia in the right eye; the left eye similarly tied cures ophthalmia in the left. But if the frog’s eyes are gouged out when the moon is in conjunction, and worn similarly by the patient, enclosed in an egg-shell, it will also cure albugo. The rest of the flesh, if applied, quickly takes away bruises. An amulet of crabs’ eyes also, worn on the neck, is said to cure ophthalmia.

Day of Reckoning

I reckon only one in a million would get my gist if I even had one, and of those only one in a million will shake my shadracks. By this reckoning it was about ted william years ago when I was last seen at Kominsky Park.

It’s no crime to be so scarce, according to the unabridged version of the declaration of independence. And the all-men-are-created-equal clause is sure to please the slaves. Say what you will and pass the munitions, my friend of the military. Remember the ammo! Viva Zapata!

Stocks rally after multiple nuclear explosions at Nellis Air Force Base

Nellis Air Force Base near Las Vegas was a scene of mayhem yesterday after several of the nuclear weapons stored there exploded during Exercise Call Trump. The stock market responded with the biggest one-day gain since Fidel Castro died.

The bombs were tactical micro-nuke B61s, earth-penetrating  devices known as “bunker busters.”  Designed to destroy underground military facilities such as command bunkers, ballistic missile silos, and foxholes, the force of the B61’s explosive energy is directed downward.  It was developed and deployed in violation of international treaties. The U.S. is expected to replace its land-mine program with personalized versions of the B61.

Development of the B61 is supported by the Recording Industry Association of America, which plans to use it in its war against file sharing and internet access for civilians. Last week, the RIAA hosted a secret meeting in Washington with the heads of major labels, plus members of the US senate who were consigned to the peanut gallery. The keynote was by RIAA head Hillary Clinton. Drop in profits can be attributed to “the new generation of sapping services”, she said, and promised that her organisation would pursue the middle and lower classes who are the primary culprits.

Meanwhile, tracer bullets and explosions lit up the sky over Afghanistan again last night as a second wave of U.S. heavy bombers, carrier-based fighter-bombers, and Tomahawk cruise missiles rained destruction on the schools, hospitals, and playgrounds known to be have been visited by a member of the Taliban or one of their relations in the last century. “It’s the only way to rub them out,” said a spokesperson for Boeing Lockheed Douglas, who spoke on conditions of anonymity, ’till death do us part.

Mister President


The aboriginies claim to have captured lady gaga and will trade her to the pygmies if we don’t — hold on a second this just in — the assassins have completed their mission in the Hindu Cushion. Blanket casualties on all sides.

Let sleeping dogs lie, and kill the messengers.